Change, time, and prayer

My life is changing again. My husband left his job yesterday. It was a mutual agreement between him and his employer. It was time to go - I know it was, but it's still hard for me - not knowing how we're going to pay our bills and where our money will come from. However, there is also a peace inside me. A peace that somehow we are going to be OK. I have to admit there's even some excitement stirring inside. After all, this is a chance for God to takes us to another level, to show his faithfulness yet again and to increase my faith. I know that God has never let me down and He will lead us this time as well. I've heard stories of people starting in ministry and how God provided when there seemed to be no way. Lead us your way, Father, keep us on your path.

I am crazy busy with the conference stuff right now. For any who don't know, our annual women's conference is planned for March 7th. Visit www.aiminghighministries.com for more info. I've gotten everything out later than I would have liked, so I'm a little nervous about how the turnout will be, but I've done everything I could think of, the rest is up to God. It's in His hands now. I've got most of my stuff done and can move on for a couple of weeks, then it will be time to start sending out prayer lists, confirmations, making a program, putting together gifts, etc. And preparing the message - I have some ideas but it hasn't come completely together yet. Our first conference was amazing and I am so excited to see what God has in store for this event.

I've started reserving an hour on the days I don't work to have devotions with God. I read my Bible and read a devotion most mornings, but this is specifically to pray and go after God. It's been amazing. It was a little harder this morning because my family was home, but I broke through and it was an incredible time in His presence. My hubby played the keyboard for half the time and we just entered in. WOW. this isn't always an easy thing to do, and sometimes I'm done before the hours up, but I so desperately want to go to another level in my relationship with Him. I've decided to pay this price because I need Him, I need to know Him more intimately, hear Him clearer, walk in stronger anointing, and everything else that comes from time in God's presence.

And now I need to sleep!

Change

I keep saying I'm going to write more, yet time keeps flying by and every time it's weeks before I get back. Things are good. I've made some decisions and will be making some changes over the next few months. I have to or I will never make it to where I'm supposed to be. Right now I work for 3 different ministries and basically run myself ragged on a regular basis. It wouldn't be bad except that I'm neglecting those things I know I'm supposed to be doing. For example, developing conferences, confronting my weight and eating, and writing, writing, writing. I have so many ideas and things in my head, I just always put off my dreams for the things that need to be done right away. I've talked to my husband and he agrees. If we don't step out and take the chance we will always be barely making it - going from paycheck to paycheck. It reminds me of a song from a few years ago - I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I wanna be. That's me!
Good night!

Dealing with Change

OK, Finally I am settling in and getting my wits about me. For awhile I felt like I was in limbo; accomplishing nothing and going no where, but hopefully that is slowly changing. A few months ago, my husband felt that God was calling him to a certain church. I had no desire to even visit the church, but knew that I needed to respect the Spirit of God in my husband. Over time, God confirmed to me that we were indeed being called to this church and that it would allow me to leave my job and go into full time ministry. This has been the desire of my heart for a long time. A house was provided by the church, but I was in for quite a suprise - the house is the smallest house I've ever seen! It can't be more than 600 square feet total! And we have a teenager, a dog, and a ministry that we run from home! If it hadn't been for knowing that I knew that I knew that God wanted us to take this step; I never would have gone. Change is hard even when it's God's will. For the last couple months, we have been dealing with change; leaving old friends, changing jobs, moving, sorting, packing. We have had to let go of many of our things, and there are still things to go through. A huge yard sale should help ease some of the space issues!

It was also difficult finding my place at church. The first time I went to the Senior Pastor and asked what he wanted me to do, he told me to grow our ministry and step into my calling. What?! Thank you Jesus for freedom, but I really wanted a LITTLE direction and accountability! Anyway, things are going well, my husband and I have started a youth group, we're developing in-church ministries, I'm leading intercessory prayer, and possibly taking over a weekly women's Bible study. I LOVE MINISTRY! Here's the only problem - I started a new job. Why do I fear letting go? I know God told me to go full time, but I keep thinking I'll just work a few months to pay off some bills and then . . . yada yada yada. I'm doing books for a large ministry and the pay is good so it was hard to say no, but there is so much I need to be doing for our ministry. OK, as a write I'm so convicted, but I've already committed to this new job so now what? Why do I always do this to myself? I dream of writing books, building a drama team, and producing seminars and conferences and God has provided a way for me to not HAVE to work, yet I find it so hard to let go. Do I not trust God to take care of me? Father, give me the faith to step out.

Live Out Loud

I took a week of from work to spend some time focusing on ministry and the vision that God has given me. I feel like I haven't accomplished much, but yet I have clarity and peace that I haven't had in a long time. Again, God is taking us in a direction I never expected, but I don't remember God ever promising to do it my way. I don't know why I even bother to dream and plan for our ministry, because it's never done the way I think it will be done. I love watching Him open doors and make a way. He doesn't only open doors that look impossible to open, He opens doors you didn't even know were there! I love Jehovah! He is wonderful, incredible, magnificent! He takes care of us and even though I never would have picked this journey, I know He's going to protect us and grow us and bring us farther than we knew we could go. My normal attitude is to worry and look at the natural, but this morning I had an honest conversation with Jesus and His response was always a question. "Are you suppose to worry? Can you change anything through worry? Are you willing to give up everything for Me?" And the clincher - "Do you trust Me?" Yes I do! And I have decided to take chances and take the plunge! Has God EVER let me down? NO! Live large people! You've got one life. As the song says; La-La-La-La Live Out Loud!