Today I'm turning 40 years old. I notice that I'm reflecting a lot today. This is an interesting day for me and I'm not really sure how to describe it. I'm excited and apprehensive. Disappointed and and yet hopeful. I'm having a hard time realizing that I am now in a totally different bracket. I'm starting my 40's. Now I have to check a different age group when I fill out questionnaires. I'm not really sure how to feel about this day since I really never expected this day to come. As a teenager, I always said I would be dead by the age of 32. (Yes even though I was an unsaved heathen, I believed Jesus would return and the earth would be destroyed in 2000.) I'm glad that the Lord did not hold me to that, but the thought of growing older than 32 had never entered my mind until it actually happened. Then suddenly, it seemed each year went faster and faster until here I am, facing "middle age." What exactly is middle age? My thought is that my life is half over, I've reached the middle. Isn't that depressing? Half way through my life (IF i live to be 80) and I don't really see anything major to show that I had a purpose for being here. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW I have a purpose, it just feels like it's taking me way to long to reach my purpose. If life is half over, what do I have to show for 40 years on this earth? Ouch. That could get depressing real fast.
So let's not go there.
On the other hand, I am excited about the future. I realized that my 20's were pretty much wasted. They were my rebellious years. The 30's were my growing up years. Now I'm actually ready for destiny. (Well, we're never completely ready.) I've learned alot, grown a lot, and learned to trust God a LOT. I'm ready to go forward. I remember my Grandmother telling me that her 40's were her best years and I believe mine will be to. She felt her best, lived her best. I'm excited about what the next 10 years will have in store. While I never thought I'd reach this point; I'm still glad to be alive and loving Jesus.
