Friday, June 3, 2011

Heart Break and Awakening

My heart is grieving today for people that I seem helpless to help. Being in ministry hurts sometimes. People let you down or turn against you, but what really hurts me is pouring into people and then watching them walk right back to the enemies side worse than ever. I find myself wondering, did we fail them somehow? Is there something more we should have done? I also find myself wanting to respond to them. It seems to me so obvious that what they are doing is wrong, surely I can convince them that they are not in God's will. But I also feel like I am not suppose to respond. A couple I care about very much has split up. A couple that shared they felt called to be Pastors. Her husband has walked out on her and her children. He is now with one of our clients which means both of them have sat under our ministry. Both of them expressed love for God and a desire to serve Him. And now both of them are praising God for bringing them each other???????? My heart breaks. Breaks for people I care about very much. Breaks for 2 young children who now are being raised without a father. Breaks for my husband who is feeling the betrayal of losing a close friend. But more than anything, my heart breaks that these things are being done in the name of God.

How can people have any knowledge of God and think that breaking up a family and having an affair is God's will? This is so absurd to me that I want to reach out, want to explain how this is wrong in so many ways. Yet we have been slammed already. By standing by the wife in this situation and expressing that we do not agree, we are now in the crossfire. Now we are hearing all the garbage being said about us. That doesn't really bother me. I don't care if someone thinks I shouldn't be in ministry. I often think I shouldn't be in ministry. After all, I am in ministry because God called me here - not because I deserve it somehow. So that I can deal with. However, there is still something in me that wants to defend myself, but I learned a long time ago not to argue with the enemy. Its a waste of time and energy. God will take care of it.

It's the deception that bothers me. It's knowing where this will end up and how even more people will be hurt. I feel like I should be able to convince them of their wrong and end this. Yet I have learned that there is a deception so deep that it can even twist the word of God. Paul said turn them over to Satan so that's what I will do. I will let them go and pray that God deals swiftly. Pray that children are protected and hearts are healed. Pray that their eyes will be open and their hearts restored.

If anyone out there is reading this, let me encourage you PLEASE to stay in the Word. And examine where your thoughts are. The Bible says sin begins with a thought - that we dwell on - and eventually act on. Where have your thoughts been? Are they on Godly things? Are they on what you don't have, how you're mistreated, how much more you deserve? Examine your thoughts and get rid of those that do not line up with God. Before they grow into actions and become sin. I've seen it too many times now. I've seen it happen to Christian people. If you entertain the thoughts long enough, Satan will make sure you have an opportunity to act upon your desires. If you are not strong enough to resist, you could fall as well. And once deception sets in it seems that people find it difficult to even recognize truth any longer. So please - examine where you are. Check your thoughts. Let's serve God instead of self while we are here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

very well put Terri!! I'll be praying for you and these things you mentioned. Have a blessed Day!!! Nancy