My life is changing again. My husband left his job yesterday. It was a mutual agreement between him and his employer. It was time to go - I know it was, but it's still hard for me - not knowing how we're going to pay our bills and where our money will come from. However, there is also a peace inside me. A peace that somehow we are going to be OK. I have to admit there's even some excitement stirring inside. After all, this is a chance for God to takes us to another level, to show his faithfulness yet again and to increase my faith. I know that God has never let me down and He will lead us this time as well. I've heard stories of people starting in ministry and how God provided when there seemed to be no way. Lead us your way, Father, keep us on your path.
I am crazy busy with the conference stuff right now. For any who don't know, our annual women's conference is planned for March 7th. Visit www.aiminghighministries.com for more info. I've gotten everything out later than I would have liked, so I'm a little nervous about how the turnout will be, but I've done everything I could think of, the rest is up to God. It's in His hands now. I've got most of my stuff done and can move on for a couple of weeks, then it will be time to start sending out prayer lists, confirmations, making a program, putting together gifts, etc. And preparing the message - I have some ideas but it hasn't come completely together yet. Our first conference was amazing and I am so excited to see what God has in store for this event.
I've started reserving an hour on the days I don't work to have devotions with God. I read my Bible and read a devotion most mornings, but this is specifically to pray and go after God. It's been amazing. It was a little harder this morning because my family was home, but I broke through and it was an incredible time in His presence. My hubby played the keyboard for half the time and we just entered in. WOW. this isn't always an easy thing to do, and sometimes I'm done before the hours up, but I so desperately want to go to another level in my relationship with Him. I've decided to pay this price because I need Him, I need to know Him more intimately, hear Him clearer, walk in stronger anointing, and everything else that comes from time in God's presence.
And now I need to sleep!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Wii Would Like To Play
I am so tired. It's about 1:30 AM and I rarely stay up this late, but the whole family is still awake. All the vacation days have my schedule messed up and it's hard to get back into routine now. Since my family was gone for a week, I stayed up late every night. OK, I admit it, I get a little nervous about going to bed when I'm home alone. I fought through it and survived. I refused to show my fear (even though no one was there to notice). I still have to say I've come a long way seeing as how I was still locking my bedroom door, putting a chair in front of the door, hiding a knife under the mattress, AND sleeping with the covers over my head when I was in my 20's! (Did I mention that God has delivered me from MAJOR fear issues?) I've come a long way and it's all for the glory of God. I can say that truthfully because I hated life bound in fear and yet nothing I did helped. After I got saved, I just noticed small changes over time. Thank you Jesus!
We are up late for a specific reason tonight. The number one thing our daughter wanted for Christmas was a Wii. well, as most of you probably know, that was a very hard thing to find this year. My husband and I are not the kind of people to stand in long lines or battle mobs for toys so we had to make a decision - give her the next item on her list, or wait until after Christmas. We decided to wait til after Christmas, hoping the demand would go down some. I printed out a picture of the Wii and wrote "Gift Certificate, good for one Wii console and one game." Hubby & I both signed it, then I folded it as small as I could, wrapped it, taped it to the bottom of a large box, filled the box with plastic bags, and wrapped that box. It just happened to be the last item she picked to open Christmas day. I wasn't sure how she would take it - thought she might be disappointed not having something she could actually use. Well, she opened it and began to cry, which made me cry. That paper is now hanging on her bedroom wall. she said it meant so much because she knew there was no way she was getting one and had let the dream go.
Well, the other day I called wal-mart and found out that a truck was coming in at midnight January 06. The manager said there would probably be a line of people and I figured I wasn't going out that late anyway. And definitely wasn't going to stand in a line for several hours! Today I told our daughter that we could drive over around 11 and see if there was a line and go from there. They only had 4 Wii's and we were the first ones there. I am so thankful. god takes care of the details. Our daughter has her gift and we have video of her crying! Also, my husband turned 33 at 12:01 this morning so of course they are playing the new video games and will probably be up all night.
That's my story for tonight.
We are up late for a specific reason tonight. The number one thing our daughter wanted for Christmas was a Wii. well, as most of you probably know, that was a very hard thing to find this year. My husband and I are not the kind of people to stand in long lines or battle mobs for toys so we had to make a decision - give her the next item on her list, or wait until after Christmas. We decided to wait til after Christmas, hoping the demand would go down some. I printed out a picture of the Wii and wrote "Gift Certificate, good for one Wii console and one game." Hubby & I both signed it, then I folded it as small as I could, wrapped it, taped it to the bottom of a large box, filled the box with plastic bags, and wrapped that box. It just happened to be the last item she picked to open Christmas day. I wasn't sure how she would take it - thought she might be disappointed not having something she could actually use. Well, she opened it and began to cry, which made me cry. That paper is now hanging on her bedroom wall. she said it meant so much because she knew there was no way she was getting one and had let the dream go.
Well, the other day I called wal-mart and found out that a truck was coming in at midnight January 06. The manager said there would probably be a line of people and I figured I wasn't going out that late anyway. And definitely wasn't going to stand in a line for several hours! Today I told our daughter that we could drive over around 11 and see if there was a line and go from there. They only had 4 Wii's and we were the first ones there. I am so thankful. god takes care of the details. Our daughter has her gift and we have video of her crying! Also, my husband turned 33 at 12:01 this morning so of course they are playing the new video games and will probably be up all night.
That's my story for tonight.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year
Wow! 2008. 2008 will be great! I love the New Year. Every time, it just brings with it such a sense of excitement and anticipation for the upcoming months. Determination to change some things, overcome some things, step out for some things. And every New Year brings to promise that this year will be THE YEAR. No more failing on resolutions, giving up on dreams. It is my prayer that this year I have a deeper determination - not because it's the New Year, but because there are some things in my life that I really want to change - and some things that I really want to accomplish.
Not trying to bring anyone down - just being realistic. I'm not making plans and changes because today is January 1st. I'm making them because I know I'm not living at my potential and there is no excuse for that. I'm making them because I want to honor Jesus for all that He did for me. I'm making them because I've reached a point in my life where failure is simply not an option.
We have the power to change our lives - I truly believe that. No obstacle is impassible - we simply give up to soon. Let's agree to make 2008 the year we overcome.
God Bless You.
Not trying to bring anyone down - just being realistic. I'm not making plans and changes because today is January 1st. I'm making them because I know I'm not living at my potential and there is no excuse for that. I'm making them because I want to honor Jesus for all that He did for me. I'm making them because I've reached a point in my life where failure is simply not an option.
We have the power to change our lives - I truly believe that. No obstacle is impassible - we simply give up to soon. Let's agree to make 2008 the year we overcome.
God Bless You.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Driving Imperfections
OK, I admit it. Sometimes I'm not perfect. I'm usually the first one to admit it. I have faults - some pretty major faults. One of them being that I take on too many tasks at once. Another is that my mind wanders easily - even more as I get older. For example, I was late going to pick up my Husband and on the way there I began going over an arguement I had had with our daughter earlier in the week. Actually, I was preaching in my head, figuring out how I could use our experience with a teenager to help others in their relationships. Well, I tend to get really into my own imagination some times and so here I am, driving down the highway, preaching out loud in my car to the imaginary congregation and I glance over to see Mr. Highway Patrol sitting in a driveway. I looked down to discover I was going 77 in a 55 and promptly pulled over. I didn't even wait for the lights to come on behind me. I had done it and there was no denying. So I had a large fine and to reduce that fine and stay away from points, I also signed up for a driving course.
Now I'm taking my course online and waiting patiently (OK, impatiently) for the time to pass until I can continue. I have learned one thing. I've always wondered if you have to stop for a bus when it's a 6 lane highway. Or what if the highway is divided? Maybe you've all known the answers to this, but I've been in the dark. So now I know. And I'm more confused than ever. If the highway is not divided, you MUST stop. However, if the highway is divided, then you have to stop unless the median is 5 foot or wider. How am I suppose to know that?!? When a school bus stops on a divided highway, I need to figure out if the median is 4 feet or 5 feet wide? While driving down the road? Great! Now I'll be more unsure of whether or not I should stop. And you need to get it right , because believe me, if you stop on a major highway when you're not suppose to, fellow drivers will let you know.
Now I'm taking my course online and waiting patiently (OK, impatiently) for the time to pass until I can continue. I have learned one thing. I've always wondered if you have to stop for a bus when it's a 6 lane highway. Or what if the highway is divided? Maybe you've all known the answers to this, but I've been in the dark. So now I know. And I'm more confused than ever. If the highway is not divided, you MUST stop. However, if the highway is divided, then you have to stop unless the median is 5 foot or wider. How am I suppose to know that?!? When a school bus stops on a divided highway, I need to figure out if the median is 4 feet or 5 feet wide? While driving down the road? Great! Now I'll be more unsure of whether or not I should stop. And you need to get it right , because believe me, if you stop on a major highway when you're not suppose to, fellow drivers will let you know.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Back Up
My life as I know it, has ended. OK, maybe it's not as bad as that, but it seems really, really bad right now. Our computer died this weekend. The computer has been my friend. It was the only thing in our house that spent almost as much time working on ministry as I do. But then, without warning, it ceased to exist. We turned it off and now it won't turn on. Sure, I know about back ups and I always thought I should get around to it, but it the grand scheme of things, it just wasn't on my list of priorities. Now most of the work I've done on our ministry in the last 4 years is quietly hidden somewhere deep inside the heart of my silent computer.
The most heartbreaking is the recent work. Our annual women's conference is in 3 months and I just finished the posters and brochures - they were on the computer. All our minutes and goals and event plans for the future - on the computer. Books I want to write, research I've done - you guessed it - on the computer. Isn't that where you're supposed to store most of your heart's work? Trusted to a metal box?
One thing I've realized is that life still goes on. I should have backed up. However, regardless of the extra work my mistake will cost me, the world will continue to spin and day and night will continue to pass. I am not going to be stressed by this. After all, I can't change it. I can only go forward and learn from my mistakes. And warn others. Don't trust the computer! BACK UP!!! Always BACK UP! It's funny these things happen at times in my life when I'm feeling the most overwhelmed. I know that God has been asking me to evaluate the things in my life and choose carefully those things that are of kingdom importance. The rest need to be put aside, for now. Not that I must always be working or preaching, but that I need to always be careful to stop spreading myself too thin and taking on tasks that are not mine to do.
I've called our faithful Pastor friend who is also a computer whiz and there is a small glimmer of hope that my efforts, hidden deep in the recesses of my once active computer, may be salvaged and resurrected. Pray for me. Pray for my computer.
The most heartbreaking is the recent work. Our annual women's conference is in 3 months and I just finished the posters and brochures - they were on the computer. All our minutes and goals and event plans for the future - on the computer. Books I want to write, research I've done - you guessed it - on the computer. Isn't that where you're supposed to store most of your heart's work? Trusted to a metal box?
One thing I've realized is that life still goes on. I should have backed up. However, regardless of the extra work my mistake will cost me, the world will continue to spin and day and night will continue to pass. I am not going to be stressed by this. After all, I can't change it. I can only go forward and learn from my mistakes. And warn others. Don't trust the computer! BACK UP!!! Always BACK UP! It's funny these things happen at times in my life when I'm feeling the most overwhelmed. I know that God has been asking me to evaluate the things in my life and choose carefully those things that are of kingdom importance. The rest need to be put aside, for now. Not that I must always be working or preaching, but that I need to always be careful to stop spreading myself too thin and taking on tasks that are not mine to do.
I've called our faithful Pastor friend who is also a computer whiz and there is a small glimmer of hope that my efforts, hidden deep in the recesses of my once active computer, may be salvaged and resurrected. Pray for me. Pray for my computer.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Pastor's Luncheon - the way it should be!
I tried to get online last night to blog this, but the internet was acting up. I went to a Pastor's luncheon yesterday with my husband. It was interesting because we had received the invitation, did not know who it was from or who (if anyone) would be there, but decided to go anyway. It was so much a God thing. We've been to many lunches before and each Pastor introduces themselves and their church. But this time there was something else. These Pastors were so passionate about God and what He is doing that they couldn't help but pour it out. Every person that introduced themselves shared their passion and their heart. One woman stood up to speak and I instantly felt a connection to her. She was excited to serve Jesus! And most of the visitors at Golden Corral yesterday heard all about it! I found out later that when I spoke, she felt the same connection and we are already planning to do some things together. Don't get me wrong - I'm not putting down other meetings - all different types are needed, but it is the first time I have gone to a luncheon and walked away feeling more on fire than when I walked in. Instead of hearing about each ministers struggles, we heard about the passion they have to connect together. Imagine what the body could accomplish if churches joined forces! Hmmm........
Anyway, I jsut had to share. I love attending places where I leave hungrier than I arrived - spiritually, that is. My other half felt the same way - he preached all the way home and hasn't been able to get off the keyboard for more than a couple of hours to sleep. I truly believe God's anointing is going to continue to come forth - stronger and more powerful - as we go deeper. And I want to be ALL up in HIS business!
Anyway, I jsut had to share. I love attending places where I leave hungrier than I arrived - spiritually, that is. My other half felt the same way - he preached all the way home and hasn't been able to get off the keyboard for more than a couple of hours to sleep. I truly believe God's anointing is going to continue to come forth - stronger and more powerful - as we go deeper. And I want to be ALL up in HIS business!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Once Saved Always Saved
You might want to grab a drink and get comfy. I'm about to step on some toes.
I doscovered a belief recently that I've never heard of before. Obviously, I'm still pretty new in ministry. There's a lot I don't know and I'm the first one to admit it. I usually don't concern myself with different opinions, as long as people believe in Jesus, I think our focus should be growing the kingdom. But I need to speak up when I believe it's something that could fool people into hell.
I was in a church recently and the Pastor said that he believes "once saved, always saved (OSAS)." I'd never even heard that before. Actually, I do remember someone questioning a minister about it when Bill Clinton was President and had all his problems - their response was that Clinton hadn't truly had a salvation experience or he would not have done such things??? No comment. Anyway, other than that one time, I've never heard of it and never really thought about it. Now, I'm thinking constantly. Is it true? Is it partially true? I guess I thought I'm saved through faith because I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth, but that I have free will to change my mind and give up my salvation if I ever chose to do so.
Apparently, there are 2 opinions in the "OSAS" beliefs to explain my decision to walk away. One is that I was never really saved to begin with. The other is that I have received the seal that cannot be broken and therefore I'm going to heaven regardless of any decisions I make after salvation.
So here's my response:
If I can do whatever I want and still go to heaven -
WHY DIDN"T ANYONE TELL ME THIS BEFORE!?!?!? Why am I working so diligently to constantly improve and grow closer to God? Why did I quit drinking and drugs and other "sinful" habits? Why did Jesus say that some will hear, "Depart from me. I never knew you." Does that mean they were never saved? Or perhaps they did experience salvation, but were so busy with their own agenda and doing what they wanted that they never bothered to build a relationship? (Maybe they thought once saved, always saved!) Why did Jesus warn that those who don't produce good fruit will be cut down?
What about Jesus' warning that the lukewarm would be spewed from his mouth? Why did Paul say that he beat his body into submission so that after he had preached to others, he would not be found unworthy himself? It sounds to me like he believed it was possible to lose his ticket to heaven. What about those who were Christians and have renounced Christ and become Buddists or Muslims? Do they get to still go to heaven?
I have a lot of problems with this belief, however, I can't actually prove the belief wrong. I mean, I know people who were saved (really, truly saved) who let compromise and unbelief come into their life and they walked away. I was one of them. I got saved & baptized as a child. I loved Jesus and I know if I had died I would have gone to heaven. Then, as a teenager, I turned to rebellion. There was a time when I even dabbled in Satanic worship. I do not believe for a second that had I died in my rebellion - in a sinful relationship, cursing God, with a cocaine needle in my arm that I would have gone to heaven. I knew even then that I was going to hell; I just didn't care. Here's the kicker: I don't die out there. I eventually repented and came back. I can't prove or disprove this theory, because I don't know anyone whose walked away and died before they repented and returned. I believe fully that if you turn your back on God and die, you will go to hell. However, PERHAPS there is a seal or mark or favor from God that spares your life until you repent and return. I don't know. I know there were times in my rebellion that I should have been dead yet here I am. And I know I'm not going to take the chance to test this theory and find out if it's right or not!
Yes, Jehovah God is a God of great mercy, but He is also a jealous God. Yes, His gifts are free and for all and forever, but those gifts have to be accepted. No, He does not take back a gift once He's given it, but perhaps we have the free will to put the gift down, hand it back or simply throw it away. Any comments?
I doscovered a belief recently that I've never heard of before. Obviously, I'm still pretty new in ministry. There's a lot I don't know and I'm the first one to admit it. I usually don't concern myself with different opinions, as long as people believe in Jesus, I think our focus should be growing the kingdom. But I need to speak up when I believe it's something that could fool people into hell.
I was in a church recently and the Pastor said that he believes "once saved, always saved (OSAS)." I'd never even heard that before. Actually, I do remember someone questioning a minister about it when Bill Clinton was President and had all his problems - their response was that Clinton hadn't truly had a salvation experience or he would not have done such things??? No comment. Anyway, other than that one time, I've never heard of it and never really thought about it. Now, I'm thinking constantly. Is it true? Is it partially true? I guess I thought I'm saved through faith because I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth, but that I have free will to change my mind and give up my salvation if I ever chose to do so.
Apparently, there are 2 opinions in the "OSAS" beliefs to explain my decision to walk away. One is that I was never really saved to begin with. The other is that I have received the seal that cannot be broken and therefore I'm going to heaven regardless of any decisions I make after salvation.
So here's my response:
If I can do whatever I want and still go to heaven -
WHY DIDN"T ANYONE TELL ME THIS BEFORE!?!?!? Why am I working so diligently to constantly improve and grow closer to God? Why did I quit drinking and drugs and other "sinful" habits? Why did Jesus say that some will hear, "Depart from me. I never knew you." Does that mean they were never saved? Or perhaps they did experience salvation, but were so busy with their own agenda and doing what they wanted that they never bothered to build a relationship? (Maybe they thought once saved, always saved!) Why did Jesus warn that those who don't produce good fruit will be cut down?
What about Jesus' warning that the lukewarm would be spewed from his mouth? Why did Paul say that he beat his body into submission so that after he had preached to others, he would not be found unworthy himself? It sounds to me like he believed it was possible to lose his ticket to heaven. What about those who were Christians and have renounced Christ and become Buddists or Muslims? Do they get to still go to heaven?
I have a lot of problems with this belief, however, I can't actually prove the belief wrong. I mean, I know people who were saved (really, truly saved) who let compromise and unbelief come into their life and they walked away. I was one of them. I got saved & baptized as a child. I loved Jesus and I know if I had died I would have gone to heaven. Then, as a teenager, I turned to rebellion. There was a time when I even dabbled in Satanic worship. I do not believe for a second that had I died in my rebellion - in a sinful relationship, cursing God, with a cocaine needle in my arm that I would have gone to heaven. I knew even then that I was going to hell; I just didn't care. Here's the kicker: I don't die out there. I eventually repented and came back. I can't prove or disprove this theory, because I don't know anyone whose walked away and died before they repented and returned. I believe fully that if you turn your back on God and die, you will go to hell. However, PERHAPS there is a seal or mark or favor from God that spares your life until you repent and return. I don't know. I know there were times in my rebellion that I should have been dead yet here I am. And I know I'm not going to take the chance to test this theory and find out if it's right or not!
Yes, Jehovah God is a God of great mercy, but He is also a jealous God. Yes, His gifts are free and for all and forever, but those gifts have to be accepted. No, He does not take back a gift once He's given it, but perhaps we have the free will to put the gift down, hand it back or simply throw it away. Any comments?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)